If it’s one thing I’ve always valued in life, it is friendship. Seriously, I could not imagine a life without friends, and whilst there have been times when I have found myself with little friends, finding it hard to navigate friendships or struggling to make new ones, these times have taught me just how important having a healthy and supportive friends where all parties feel seen, heard and valued!
Many of us will make many friends throughout our lives; some stay for a long time, and others don’t. Some leave a lasting impression, whilst we may be glad to see the back of others. The friendships we form with people can range from person to person, and we don’t always have the same connection with each of our friends.
Some will be great to turn to when we need to hear some home truths, some are good for fun and adventure, and others we may not see often, but you can bet they will be there at the drop of a hat should we ever need them.
Not all our friendships will last a lifetime, many don’t, and there are various reasons for this; one of the most common ones is simply outgrowing the dynamics of the friendship as life moves forward, after all, It’s natural for us to grow emotionally and spiritually as people, and some of our friendships will not survive this growth. This is not necessarily because they or you are bad people; it is just because we reach stages in our lives where our paths no longer align, and it’s important to remember that some of them were never meant to be, because not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay.
With that being said, friendships can and do end on bad terms, maybe someone has treated you badly, or you did something wrong. Whatever the situation, there were probably great times had that will leave lasting memories.
Of all the people I have met over the years, I have certainly lost my share of friendships, some ended on bad terms, and others just naturally drifted apart, but this is just a natural way of life.
One thing about life is that it will surprise you; old friends you think you will never see again can randomly pop back into your life, sometimes even decades later! I know this because the same thing happened to me!
It had been roughly 10 years since I had seen or spoken to an ex-best friend of mine, then, randomly, at a concert that had 20,000 people in attendance, we were seated right next to one another! I mean, what are the chances?
Our friendship didn’t exactly end on good terms; it ended quite badly, and whilst I do not remember the exact details, I know at the time, I was glad to see the back of her, and she probably felt the same way about me!
Call it coincidence or fate, seeing one another at the concert led us to reconnect, and we are currently rebuilding our friendship, which leaves me asking, is the right thing to do? After all, a lot of time has passed, and I have not known her for as long as I have known her.
Should friendships that have ended stay dead and buried, or can reconnecting with friends from your past be an unexpected joy and blessing? Should we remember there was a reason the friendship ended in the first place, or simply let bygones be bygones?
Daisy In The Dust spoke to numerous women to get their opinions on whether reconnecting with a friend is a good idea or not.
“The past should stay in the past”
Emma, 28 –
“I chose to walk away from a toxic friendship a few years ago, and I wouldn’t want to rekindle the friendship again. I think that the past should stay in the past, and I think that reconnecting can have the potential to bring you down”
“Just because it never worked in the past doesn’t mean it won’t again”
Tyla, 34 –
“I don’t see anything wrong with reconnecting with old friends. Sometimes, in life, your path is not aligned, but it can realign in the future. When friendships have not worked out in the past, you can grow and learn as people while you are apart, and when you reconnect, the friendship can be stronger and more healthier than it was before. Even if the friendship ended on bad terms, there is nothing wrong with giving things a second shot, just because it never worked out in the past doesn’t mean that it won’t again”
“Our friendship now is stronger and more mature than it was when we were younger”
Kemi, 22-
“I grew up with someone from when we were in primary school, by the time we were late teens, our friendship began to drift apart and as we were not seeing eye to eye on a lot of things. We ended up falling out, and I couldn’t tell you the main reason for us falling out, as it was so long ago, but we ended up not seeing or speaking to one another for around 6 years. We reconnected years later when we ended up having a friend in common. For me, this has been a great experience, and I would say our friendship now is stronger and more mature than it was when we were younger. I think you have to ensure that you put boundaries in place to prevent the past from replaying, but other than that, it can work out!”
“There is no friend I have lost that I want back”
Janisha, 28
“The friendships that I have had in the past have either ended on bad terms or we have outgrown one another. Not everyone who comes into our lives is meant to stay, and there is no friend that I have lost that I want back, so I am just not interested”
“If they come back into your life again they were meant to”
Jordan, 35
“Old connections do not have to be lost forever; reconnecting can be an unsurprising blessing, and old friends can bring such value and joy to your life. I don’t believe in coincidences, so if they come back into your life again, then they were meant to. I reconnected with an old friend when I was at a time in my life when I hated my career and decided to be brave and follow my dreams. Being business-savvy himself, he helped me start my business, and without us rekindling, my business wouldn’t be where it is today. Everything happens for a reason!”
