Welcome to the dating diaries, where we speak to real people about their dating experiences. We cover the good, the bad and the ugly of the dating world. Our aim is to not only entertain you, but help our readers to navigate their own dating lives, by picking up tips and learning from other peoples experiences.
In this weeks dating dairies we talk to a 27 year old Administrator (female) who dated a 25 year old Security Guard! (male)
How did you meet?
We met at work. I work in a University in the admissions department, and he works as a Security Guard.
I used to see him around the campus, and I fancied him. He made his uniform look so good, and he was always well groomed – a hair never out of place, and the uniform was always neat, tidy and well-ironed!
Despite seeing him around the campus, it was always difficult to try and get his attention, even though I really wanted to speak to him. This is because I would always be passing through reception to either go and get lunch or go for a cigarette, and he would obviously be standing around doing what Security Guards do.
I figured it would be weird to just randomly walk up to him and start speaking; even though I really wanted to, I just didn’t have the confidence to.
Despite our lack of conversation, I always got the sense that he was interested, every time I saw him, our eyes would lock, and it was hard to describe in words, but I just got a vibe that he was into me.
Months went by with us passing another one and not speaking. I was annoyed that he didn’t make conversation, but we did move from just looking at one another to saying ‘Hi’ – any progress is better than progress, right?
The dreaded pandemic happened in 2020, and we all began working from home, so I didn’t see him at all. It would be a whole year before I came back on campus.
When I saw him again, it honestly looked like his eyes lit up when he saw me, and from then on, I swore that I would make the first move the next time I saw him because I gathered that he was shy and he was probably never going to.
True to my word, I spoke to him when I next saw him, I was outside smoking, and he also came outside. I called him over to where I was and asked him his name, and we started making small talk about our how long we had been at our place of work and if we enjoyed our roles.
This was the icebreaker we needed, but I cold tell that he was shy. He asked if I was on social media, and I gave him my handles.
From there, we began speaking all the time, and a couple of weeks later, he asked me out on a date.
Where was your first date?
We went to a Turkish restaurant not far from where we worked because it was central. I had been before and suggested it, and he was okay with it.
How did it go?
I got to the restaurant before him, and I was 10 minutes late, so It’s a good thing really! He arrived ten minutes after me, but he did keep me updated on his whereabouts, so I wasn’t too bothered, I just ordered a drink whilst I waited for him.
When he arrived, the first thing I noticed was that he looked hot!. It was my first time seeing him outside of his work uniform, and I was impressed! He looked trendy and kept it smart-casual in a shirt, jeans and trainers.
It might sound shallow to some, but the way a man dresses is very important to me, I like a man who is well-groomed and takes care of his appearance.
As he came to the table to hug me, I could smell a strong scent of weed on him, and when the waiter came over to ask if he wanted to order a drink, I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed because I knew the waiter could smell it.
I could tell he was high, his eyes were red, and his reactions seemed slow, and he almost seemed a little too relaxed for a date in a public place!
I’m genuinely 420-friendly, but I felt like him being ‘baked’ was affecting the conversation because he just didn’t seem present, and at times, he looked like he was trying his hardest to stay awake. I was definitely doing most of the talking, and at times, I felt like I was just talking his ears off and not getting much back.
At the end of the date, he ordered me an Uber home and put me in it, which I wasn’t expecting. We shared a kiss before I got into the cab, and he messaged me the same evening to check I got home safe, which I thought was really cute!
Who paid the bill?
He paid for the meal. I tried to go halves with him but he insisted on paying!
Did you see him again?
After the date, we carried on speaking on the phone (plus I still used to see him at work), and I told him I felt like the date could have been better had he not been so high and I didn’t get to know him the way I wanted.
He apologized and stated that he really liked me and that he was a shy person and suffered from social anxiety, so the idea was just to smoke a little before the date, enough to relax him, but he ended up getting carried away.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and we agreed to go on another date with him. This time, we went to the cinema and for a drink afterwards, and he wasn’t high this time around. I felt like I got to know him a lot better.
The dates continued, and it progressed into a relationship. We have been together for two and a half years. We currently live together and, in the very near future, would like to start a family.
For anyone wondering, yes he still smokes!
Rate the date:
6/10 – this was because he was stone, the relationship is 10/10 though and we laugh about our first date now!
What dating advice would you give to others?
Don’t be afraid to give people a second chance if you instincts tell you too! I could have decided not to date my date again and if I did we would not be together now! Sometimes first dates are not great for various reasons, but that doesn’t mean that they are bad people or you are not suitable.
Sometimes it takes a 2nd or 3rd or second date before you can tell if you are compatible!
