How To Trust The Timing Of Your Life: A Guide For Women

If you are worried about not being where you want to be in life and feel like you may are being left behind, then I want you to read ahead because this post is for you! Plenty of women have felt under pressure to achieve a specific goal or reach a milestone by a particular time in their life. But I want you to take a deep breath and trust the timing of your life because you are precisely where you need to be!  

Societal norms and timelines of achievement can be really harmful to us because if our goals and desires aren’t achieved by the ‘deadline’ society places upon us, then we can begin to feel inadequate and unworthy.

We are told from childhood that success and achievement looks a certain way, to be acheived by a certain time.  

These societal norms are a university degree by age 21, a ‘good job’, home ownership, being in love and starting families by your mid 30’s.

It’s having surplus income and being able to afford life’s luxuries such as holidays and nice clothes.

Whilst I grew up thinking that I needed to achieve all these things by a certain time to be successful, my life turned out differently than I had initially anticipated, and I never achieved anything I wanted to achieve in the time I wanted to.

There is no timeline on success, despite what society will have you believe

Societal norms require us to achieve certain goals by certain ages, and when we don’t, we are made to feel inadequate and unworthy.

According to Very Well Mind, success is the ability to reach your goals and is more of a journey than a destination, success is subjective, and it looks different to everyone because we all have different purposes, goals and ambitions. We all have our passions and dreams that we wish to fulfil.  

Success isn’t just the things that people desire most in life, such as materials, love, money and luxury. Success is also that friend that plucked up the courage to become estranged from her abusive family.

It looks like the individual that left her soul sucking job that was making her ill.

Success looks like the friend that has become more social and getting back to themselves after a bout of severe depression.

I had always believed that we had a purpose here on earth, some people may find it easily and others may take a while.

We have to trust the timing of our lives and understand that we will figure it all out in the end, and all will be okay. We all on individual paths and can go at life at our own individual pace. 

Expectation:

I would have a mortgage for a property by the time I was 30, and although it’s becoming increasingly difficult for people to buy property, there is still societal pressure to own property and when if you don’t have a mortgage at a certain age then you can be left feeling like a failure and unsuccessful.

Reality:

Although it’s becoming increasingly difficult for people to buy property, owning property is a social norm, therefore when this isn’t achieved by a certain age, then you may be left feeling like a failure and unsuccessful.

Expectation:

I would be in a management position in my career by the time 30.

Society tells us that we need to be well educated to secure a ‘good job’ and when we do, we should progress in our careers. It had always been a desire of mine to climb the corporate ladder and get a management position.

Reality:

I am currently in a place whereby I want to change career. Although I have had different roles, I have been in the same field for over a decade, and I can feel myself slowly falling out of love with the work that I do and feel it is time for a change.

It is not easy to change careers when all my skills, qualifications and experience are based around one thing but slowly but surely I am exploring other ventures which means I will likely move on in the future.

Expectation:

Be married or in a committed relationship by the age I am now. Like many others, I had always dreamed of meeting the ‘one’ and starting a family.

Reality:

I am in my early 30’s and single. I never am yet to meet the one and there have been times where I have not been okay with that, but now I am in a place where I am happy within myself and realize that I have plenty of love in my life.

Trust the timing of your life

Your current circumstances may not be ideal, in fact they could be pretty shit, but by trusting the timing of your life, you let go of the fears and anxiety about the future and simply let things be.

You give up the need to control, and trust the process because you trust that everything will be okay in the end.

1. Accept things as they are

“If I can’t accept what I have now, imagining that I can only be happy at some time in the future when I have X, Y and Z, then what I am doing is sabotaging my own life” – Johnathan Gibbons

Acceptance won’t take away all your problems and make everything better, but it will help you to trust the timing of your life by giving us the tools to help us to be ok with exactly where we are, even if we are not where we expected ourselves to be at this point in time.

Acceptance will prevent you from living in the past and obsessing over the future, therefore allowing us to live more mindfully.

4. Do Not Compare Yourself To Other People

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it, it just blooms” – Zen Shin

Comparing yourself to others is a dangerous game. It can cripple our self-esteem and confidence, steal our joy and make us feel inadequate, unworthy and even jealous.

In the age of social media, people do this more and more, as we are constantly plagued with pictures and videos of people’s seemingly ‘perfect life’ but this is all smoke and mirrors, people only post the best parts of their life and never their struggles.

The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself, by working on uplifting and making yourself a better person than you were yesterday.

Who cares if all your friends have bought property but yet haven’t? You understand that you are on your own journey.

Trust the timing of your life with knowing that you will achieve what you will achieve in divine timing.

Understand that no one’s life is perfect and we are all on our own journeys. Your path differs from everyone else, and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side!

5. You believe In Yourself

“ If you hear a voice in you that states that ‘you cannot paint’, then by all means paint, and the voice will be silenced” – Vincent Van Gogh

I think that believing in yourself is majorly underrated and when we believe in ourselves we are more likely to trust the timing of our lives.

Have you ever had an idea about something and thought that you could never execute it? Or perhaps you always dreamed of starting your own business or landing your dream job. Yup, me too!

We sell ourselves short all the time, tricking ourselves into believing that we are not smart enough, worthy enough, pretty enough or well-resourced to achieve what we want to.

Maybe it’s even other people that put you off from doing what you want.

Self believe is truly a game changer, because when you believe in yourself you trust the timing of our lives and, trust that we can achieve anything.

6. Let go of what no longer serves you

Letting go of what no longer serves you means that you make space in your life for other blessings, and freeing yourself of things that may be holding you back, no longer brings you joy or bring up negative emotions for you.

In order to trust the timing of your life you may need to let go of relationships that are no longer healthy, a job that is making you miserable or an emotion that is impacting on your mental and physical health.

Letting go of what no longer serves you isn’t always easy, because we often form attachments to things and relationships in our life, but trusting the timing of your life means that we know with every fiber of our being that when the timing is right we will be blessed with more opportunities.