Questions To Ask Your Girlfriend – For More Intimacy

Whether you are in a new relationship or you have been together for a while, communication forms the basis of a healthy and happy relationship, with mutual respect and a shared understanding. There are plenty of questions you can ask your girlfriend in order to develop a deeper connection and higher level of intimacy.

1. Questions to ask your girlfriend about her childhood

1. Do you have any favourite childhood memories? 
2. Are you close to your family? 
3. What was your relationship with your parents like 
4. Did you get on with your siblings growing up? 
5. Did you have any role models growing up?
6. What were you like as a child, eg shy, quiet? 
7. What was your favourite childhood game? 
8. Were you frightened of anything when you were younger, and if so, why?
9. How would you describe your childhood? 
10. Is there anything in your childhood that you felt had a significant impact on you?

2. Questions to ask about her career

Research has shown that a personality can determine your career path so your girlfriend’s career/job can say a lot about the type of person she is. If she is a Nurse, then she is likely to be very empathetic and find it rewarding to help and take care of people. Or if your girlfriend is in the arts and fashion industry, she is very likely to be creative, bold and imaginative. Below are some career-based questions that you can ask your girlfriend to get to know her on a deeper level.  

1. What is the favourite aspect of your job? 
2. Why did you choose to go into this career?
3. Could you see yourself changing your career/job in the future?
4. If you could choose to do any job in the world, what would you do? 
5. Would you move/change jobs for me if I were offered an amazing opportunity that would better both our lives?
6. What aspects of your job do you find most challenging? 
7. What aspect of your job do you find most rewarding? 
8. What did you want to be when you were younger? 
9. Do you prefer working in a team or alone? 
10. How would your colleagues describe you? 

3. Questions to ask your girlfriend about feelings and emotions

Not only is asking questions about your girlfriend’s feelings and emotions great for intimacy, It also creates an environment where she is being encouraged to express feelings and emotions, which forms the basis of a healthy relationship. 

These questions can also lead to discussions that will enable you to understand her needs and how you can meet them. 

Below are some questions to ask your girlfriend that will encourage discussions about feelings and emotions:

1. How do you feel about me?
2. What is your biggest fear about our relationship? 
3. Is there anything that you feel I could better in our relationship? 
4. What do I mean to you? 
5.  Do you feel comfortable enough to be your authentic self around me? If not, what could I do better to make you feel more comfortable? 
6. Is there anything that you feel I could improve on in our relationship? 
7. Do you feel comfortable communicating things to me even if it wouldn’t be an easy conversation to have? 
8. Do you trust me? 
9. Have you ever been hurt before in past relationships? 
10. What makes you happiest? 

4. Questions to ask about the future

Whether it is a new relationship or you have been together for a while, conversations about the future are essential to have to ensure you are both on the same page about where you want the relationship to go and what you both want from each other. 

Whilst talking about the future of your relationship with your girlfriend can be daunting, it is important to time it right. For example, if you have been in a relationship for a while, then it is perfectly plausible to bring this conversation to the table. However, if your relationship is relatively new it’s probably best to let the conversation happen naturally, as some people can be put off by discussions about the future of the relationship too early on in the relationship. TZR – Ashley Tibbits explains how creating a culture of communication is important and that you don’t need to cram everything in one go as there will be plenty of time to discuss these this topic.

1. Where do you see our relationship in 5 years’ time? 
2. Would you want to start a family in the future? 
3. Would you consider moving city or country in the future if the right opportunity came up? 
4. Are you open to career changes? 
5. Do you have any future goals that you wish to achieve? 
6.  How do you see our future?
7. What would you like your retirement to look like?
8. What are your goals for our relationship?
9. What are your financial plans?
10. Would you want marriage in the future?

5. Questions to ask your girlfriend about money

It is important to discuss money with your girlfriend because your finances can affect one another, especially as you reach milestones in your relationship, such as moving in together and starting a family. MoneyHelper states that discussing money will help her avoid arguments and tensions and will help you to understand your girlfriend’s attitudes towards money and talk about your money goals. The below questions to ask your girlfriend will open discussions about money and finances.   

1. Do you have savings? 
2. Do you have any saving goals? 
3. Are you good at managing money? 
4. Excluding a car/house – what is the most expensive thing you have bought? 
5. Are you good at budgeting? 
6. Where would you say most of your money goes after covering living costs 
7. Do you have any spending habits you would like to break? 
8. What do you think you need to improve on if you are not good with money? 
9. Do you keep track of your spending?
10. Are you comfortable with discussing money? 

6. Questions to ask her about sex

Psychology Today states that plenty of research shows that openly discussing matters regarding sex with your partner is just as important as it is for any other aspect of a healthy relationship and VeryWellMind also states that couples who have strong sexual communication are more satisfied with their sex life. 

Below are some questions to ask your girlfriend to bring up a discussion about sex:  

1. Is there anything that you feel I could do better in the bedroom? 
2. Do you have any sexual fantasies that you would act out? 
3. What could we do to spice things up in the bedroom?
4. Do you have a high sex drive? 
5. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush? 
6. What is the longest you have ever gone without sex?
7. Do you like to be spontaneous?
8. Do you have any embarrassing sex stories to share? 
9. What is the strangest place you have ever had sex? 
10. Is there anything that you have not tried and would like us to try? 

7. Questions to ask your girlfriend about values and morals

It’s important to explore your girlfriend’s values and morals to determine if they are in alignment with yours . Not everyone will have the same as they differ from person to person, but having contrasting values, morals and ethics could cause conflict in a relationship. For example, what you may see as wrong or disrespectful your girlfriend may not.

1. What brings you the most joy? 
2. What must you have in your life to be fulfilled? 
3. How would you like to be remembered? 
4. If you could make the world a better place, what change would you make? 
5. Do you have any causes you care about? 
6. What is really important to you? 
7. What or who inspires you? 
8. What are you views on…? * choose topic of choice*
9. What would you consider the ultimate betrayal?
10. Who is your role model

A word from Daisy In The Dust:

Some of the above topics can be difficult to discuss, which in turn could lead to vulnerability, anxiousness and even fear. This is why it is important to create a safe space where your partner feels comfortable, respected and at ease. Also take into consideration that some people find it more difficult to ‘open up’ so patients will also be needed.

xox