Why It’s Okay To Change Your Mind!

It’s perfectly okay to change your mind! In fact, changing your mind gets a bad rep!

We have been conditioned to believe that we should not go back on our word, and once we commit to something, we must see it through, to not do so, you are being irresponsible, a letdown, indecisive and confused.

Changing your mind does not mean you are flakey! In fact, this couldn’t be further from the truth; it’s okay to change your mind, and sometimes it’s absolutely necessary for our happiness and well-being!  

Life is full of surprises and twists and turns; we may expect one thing but get another, and we might follow a path to find it is not right for us.

It is okay to have a change of heart because things change, we change, and the world around us changes. You may quit a course six months after deciding it isn’t for you, or you may decide you no longer want to be in your relationship.

Change is often good; it provides new perspectives and opportunities to grow as individuals.  Change makes us adaptable and resilient to whatever life throws at us, and it prevents our lives from becoming boring and predictable.

There are some instances where we will have no control over any changes that take place during our lives, and there will be those when we actively make the changes ourselves. Either way, it is okay to change your mind!

You can still be loyal and committed

Forget what you were told; changing your mind doesn’t mean you are not loyal or committed. So what if you decided to change your mind about that night out with your friends?

Who cares if you change your mind about booking your planned weekend trip and would rather stay home and get some work done or rest?

No doubt changing your mind will piss some people off and even make you feel guilty for changing your mind. It can often make you feel like you are hurting or betraying people, but you don’t live to please others!

The guilt alone could force you to end up doing something you don’t want to do just because you don’t want to disappoint people.   

Why people pleasing will hold you back

Have there been times when you wanted to change your mind but ended up doing what you originally agreed or set out to do just to please others?

You likely didn’t change your mind when you wanted to because you felt responsible for hurting other people’s feelings, letting them down, or you wanted to avoid conflict.

Whilst people pleasing will make the ones you are pleasing happy, it will make you miserable. You won’t get very far by putting everybody before yourself.   

People pleasing can seriously impact the quality of your life; this is because by pleasing others, you will put your own wants and needs aside and will be doing so at the detriment of your own happiness.

People pleasing may mean you may:

• Not pursue your passions
• End up doing things that you do not enjoy or like
• Ignore your own feelings and opinions
• Not achieve your goals

You don’t have to justify yourself to others, and you can change your mind simply because you can, and you are entitled to do so!

Changing your mind doesn’t mean you are a failure

When you have a change of heart, you might feel like you are a failure. For example, you may have started a course where you invested a lot of time, energy and money into it, to quit just six months into it.

You decided halfway through that it wasn’t for you after all, and you would be more suited to something else.

Although you know this decision is right for you deep down, your self-worth takes a battering for not seeing something through, and you feel bad about quitting halfway through. You feel like you have failed.

Oftentimes, the only way we can truly decide if something is for us is to try it, and if it doesn’t work out, then be glad that you have the courage to follow your heart and follow new endeavours!

Changing your mind is an act of bravery, and those who are brave enough to do it often wind up reaching all their desires.

If you struggle to change your mind, the following tips may help:

Trust yourself:

Trusting ourselves can be invaluable for decision-making. This is because when we trust ourselves, we stay true to ourselves by putting our wants and needs first!

Healthline explains that it can be more difficult to make decisions when you don’t trust yourself because you will fear making the wrong choice.  

Reflect on it:

You usually don’t have to decide immediately when thinking about changing your mind.

It may be helpful to sit down and reflect on your situation.

You may do this by weighing up the pros and cons of changing your mind, thinking about what other things may change due to making this decision and stepping away from distractions.

By reflecting on your decision-making, you are more likely to be assured that you are making the right one, and you can then move forward with confidence and assurance!

Speak to friends and family

When you think about changing your mind, especially when it is a big decision like quitting your job to pursue your dreams or ending a relationship with a partner, it may be wise to speak it over with a friend or family member.

This is just because they can advise and provide a different perspective. They may provoke you to think about the things you haven’t thought about before and will support you in making the best decision for yourself.

Reasons why we change our minds

Our circumstances change:

The funny thing with change is that some things are in our control, and some things are outside of it. Sadly, there is little we can do about the things that are outside of our control other than accept and adapt as necessary.

The change in circumstances can sometimes lead to us changing our minds because it may be foolish or unwise to go ahead with our normal plans when our circumstances have changed.

You have grown as an individual:

Growing is a part of life; our values and morals today may not be the same as they were five years ago!

As we grow as people, it is likely to change our perspective of things, how we behave, what we believe and things that are important to us.

Change is a normal part of growing; we are bound to want to make changes in our lives as we grow!

Things are not what they used to be:

Sometimes, we change our minds because we think we know what we want until we get it and find out that it doesn’t meet our expectations!

This happens to the best of us, so the best thing we can do is rethink things and eventually make a decision about how we move forward!