Dating Diaries: I Dated My Neighbour & Saw Another Girl Coming Out His Apartment!

Welcome to the dating diaries, where we speak to real people about their dating experiences. We cover the good, the bad and the ugly of the dating world. Our aim is to not only entertain you, but help our readers to navigate their own dating lives, by picking up tips and learning from other people’s experiences.

35-year-old, female IT consultant dates 33-year-old male, Electrical Engineer

Where did you meet?

I had just moved into a new apartment and had only been there for a few days, and as I was coming out of the lift on my floor, a handsome guy was getting in. We said hello to one another. 

Physically, he was the type I would go for. He had a work uniform on, which made him look like some sort of engineer or handyman, so I assumed he was a man doing some work on the building or in someone’s flat, so I didn’t think more about it. 

I saw him again a couple of days later and realised that he wasn’t here for work purposes as I had anticipated, but he actually lived here, on my floor, next door but one to me. I was coming out of my flat, and he was coming out of his, and we got in the lift together. 

We made small talk, and he told me how long he had lived there. It turns out he moved in just a couple of weeks before me.

I told my friends that I had a good-looking neighbour, and whilst they were excited about the fact that I had eye candy, they also expressed concern that it could all go horribly wrong and that I would have nowhere to run if it did, with him being my neighbour. 

Over the next few weeks, I saw him multiple times, in the lift, in the post room, and in the corner shop, and he always made an effort to say hello and start a conversation with me. I sensed a vibe that he was into me, but he never made a move, to my annoyance. However, I did figure he seemed quite shy. 

I certainly wasn’t the type to make the first move, partly because I felt that it was a man’s job and partly because I feared rejection and that I would be humiliated if I did. 

I remember discussing it with my friend, who told me I should make the first move and ask him round for a drink. 

Taking my friend’s advice, the next time I saw him, I plucked up the courage to ask him if he had anything on later, and if he didn’t, he was welcome to come round for a drink. He told me that he didn’t have anything to do, and I told him to come around 8 p.m. 

Where did you go?

He came over to my house for a drink! Usually, I wouldn’t let a guy I had just met come over to my house, but he was my neighbour, so I figured the rules were a little different after all. He already knew where I lived! 

As we carried on dating, we went to bars for drinks, cinemas and out for food. 

How did it go?

He arrived at my flat with a bottle of red wine and told me I looked like a ‘red wine drinker’ – I don’t know what a red wine drinker looks like, but he wasn’t wrong, red wine was my favourite! 

We spent the evening getting to know one another, ordering food, and having a lovely evening together. This led to spending more and more time together over the next few months. 

We would go to one another’s houses to watch films—I would even go in my nightwear in the evening. If he were off work, he would bring me lunch when I was working from home. 

There was something quite fun about having someone on your doorstep, and this was definitely beneficial and convenient when we were both feeling horny! 

Although we were spending quite a bit of time together, none of us had yet mentioned where we wanted ‘us’ to go or if we wanted anything more serious. I can’t speak for him, but I enjoyed his company and was happy to take it slow and see where things ended up.

Despite enjoying spending time with him, I had to admit there were a few red flags. One was that he could sometimes be condescending and patronizing, which annoyed me. The other was that he bought his ex-girlfriend up when it wasn’t necessary, which made me think that he wasn’t over her, despite not having been with her for over 7 months!  

One evening, after an evening at a family function, I got home and texted him to ask if he was home and if he wanted to come round. He told me that he was home, but he was busy. We proceeded to exchange a few texts, but his texts seemed blunt and quite cold, which is something that I have never experienced from him before! 

The next day, I had finished cleaning and went out to take the bins. As I was stepping into the lift, I noticed a woman coming out of his flat, and I could hear him waving her off and they were definitely flirting so it wasn’t a family member! Luckily, the lift doors had closed, so she didn’t get into the lift with me. 

I was pissed off, to say the least. Although we were both single, I felt like he could have been honest if he had been open to seeing other people. Due to how much time we were spending together, I figured he could at least be honest and upfront with me. 

I’m an ‘it is what it is’ type of person, so I figured I would let him get on with it and wait until he texted me. He texted me 2 days later asking if I was free, and I was feeling petty that day, so I asked him to ask the girl he had around the next day if she was free. Within 10 minutes or so, he was at my door! 

He told me that he did have a girl around and that he was a single man and could do what he wanted. To him, it wasn’t a big deal, but I expressed that I felt different about this! 

I felt disrespected, especially after how he handled things when he came around, acting like it wasn’t a big deal and gaslighting me, so I decided to cut him off. I ignored the messages that he proceeded to send me, and eventually, he got the message that I didn’t want to see him anymore. 

Did you see one another again?

This is the funniest question because he was my neighbour, and unfortunately for me, I had to see him again, although not in that capacity!  

I bumped into him a couple of times; it was awkward at first, I won’t lie, but after a while, it was fine, and water was under the bridge. 

After a few months, I got a new job, which was long hours and quite demanding. So, I spent less time at home and didn’t bump into him as often. 

Around a year later, I bought a property, so I moved out! I have never spoken to him again until this day, although I still have his phone number on my phone, and I can see he views my Whats App statuses!

What dating advice would you give to others?

If you have a sexy neighbour, maybe think twice about it. If it doesn’t work out, you must live close to them! I certainly won’t be shitting where I eat from now on!!

I won’t lie, though; it was fun and very convenient while it lasted and although my situation didn’t end too badly, and we were able to behave like adults and not pay much attention to one another!