There is a tendency to think that spending Christmas alone is depressing and lonely, and whilst it may be a difficult period for some, many people (myself included) are saying no to the pressures that the festive period brings and choosing to spend the holidays alone.
I have always struggled with the Christmas period and found it very overwhelming. At work, December is always insanely busy which makes the run to Christmas very stressful and it feels there is a pressure to be merry & joyful even though things may not be great.
There is an expectation for Christmas Day to be perfect, not to mention the financial pressures and family dysfunction that the festivities can bring!
Every year, my Christmas was similar. My family and extended family would start the day by going to Church (I am not religious, but it was a family tradition that I didn’t enjoy much) and then gather at my grandmother’s house for a big family Christmas. It sounds ideal, like the perfect family Christmas, except it was often chaotic, stressful, and, at times, very toxic.
Whilst I adored the time spent with my ageing grandparents, not all of the family got along and it was sometimes difficult to fake a smile and be civil and polite to someone you don’t like, especially if they would go out of their way to offend you.
Every year I wished that the Christmas period would hurry up and come and go. Whilst I am a grown woman and can choose to spend Christmas how I please, I felt obligated to spend it with my family and thought that not doing so would break ‘family tradition’. I worried that my family would be annoyed if decided to do my own thing.
After fantasizing about spending Christmas alone for a while I decided to put myself first, forget about what my family thought and just do it. I didn’t regret it, in fact, I thoroughly enjoyed my day. It was the most peaceful, stress-free day I had experienced in many years and I will be doing it again this year!
By spending the day alone, I saved a lot of money on buying people gifts that I felt obligated to buy just simply because I was due to see them over the Christmas period, I felt much more relaxed and was able to spend the day exactly how I pleased.
Admittedly, I was a little worried that I would feel lonely and depressed, and I would end up regretting it. People tried to put me off from celebrating the day alone too, in fact, they were quite horrified when I told them I would be spending it alone. Work colleagues felt sorry for me, almost as if I had no one to spend the day with and some family members got offended that I didn’t want to spend the day with them. Regardless, I stuck to my plans!
Here is a summary about how I spent my Christmas Eve and day:
I spent Christmas Eve at a gathering at my friend’s house and admittedly had a little too much to drink. I made the most of my night as it was out of the ordinary because I usually went to Church on Christmas morning, so I always got an early night. We had lots of fun, which included drinking, dancing, eating and getting into the Christmas spirit. I didn’t get home until around 1AM.
Christmas morning:
I started my morning with a lie-in due to getting in quiet late the night before, did my usual yoga exercises and made myself a beautiful breakfast – I had avocado on toast, smoked salmon and scrambled eggs, alongside a caramel coffee. I put on my favorite Christmas film whilst I ate and snuggled on the sofa in my pajamas.
Late morning I made myself a mimosa and drank it as I took a long hot soak in the bath. I don’t usually drink this early, but hey it’s Christmas and so acceptable times to drink don’t apply!
After my bath, I threw on my comfiest tracksuit and prepped my Turkey dinner while I listened to my playlist. It felt good not to have to dress up to sit in the house and not leave.
Afternoon:
I had Facetime calls with friends and family to wish them a Merry Christmas and to thank them for Christmas gifts and began to cook dinner whilst I drank Mamosa’s and played some tunes through my speakers.
I then had a walk around my local park to get my steps in, be in nature and get some fresh air and I was surprised how many people there were in the park!
Late afternoon I ate dinner (I’m not an early eater) and watched more Christmas films.
Evening:
I cleaned the kitchen from the mess I had made cooking dinner and had dessert.
I ended the night with a glass of champagne and eating treats whilst watching a Netflix series!
My day was perfect, and I didn’t at all feel lonely. There were no expectations as I only had myself to please. I didn’t have to deal with tension around the Christmas table with family members you don’t get on with or arguments over who has control of the remote, no snide comments about who wasn’t pulling their weight and there was no pressure to make the day perfect!
It can be daunting to spend Christmas alone, especially because we are told that it should be spent with loved ones, I recognize that I am very fortunate because I chose to spend Christmas day alone, whereas others may not have that choice.
Whether by choice or not, ‘alone’ doesn’t have to mean ‘lonely’ and the day doesn’t have to be doom and gloom, try to make it special for yourself, whether it be treating yourself to your favorite treats, or cooking yourself a nice meal, trust me it can make a big difference!
For those who would love to spend Christmas alone but feel pressured to spend it with family like I did, don’t be afraid to tell loved ones you will be switching things up this year and making other plans. If we are lucky, we will see many Christmases so it won’t hurt to spend one year doing what you want to do!
This year, I will be spending the holiday alone again, and whilst I may not do this forever I am certainly making the most of the peace and solitude! Sometimes you just need to say no to all the noise that Christmas brings and be by yourself!
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