We will meet and get to know so many different people in our lifetime however we won’t form a great connection with everyone we meet, some we may not even like. Not everyone is your friend, and not everyone has to be.
Happiness.com states that true friendship is based on honest communication and mutual trust, so spend time with people who love spending time with you, who genuinely care and will support you no matter what but are also not afraid to tell you when you are in the wrong, just as good friends should.
Below are 10 reasons why not everyone is your friend!
1. They are in your business
Befriending someone just to get information for the source of gossip is actually a real thing?
They will befriend you to get all the gossip they need, so they can go back and tell their friends! Some people find it entertaining, so be careful about who you tell your business to!
This person will initially appear very friendly and helpful, almost like they cannot do enough for you. This is how they gain your trust, so you open up to them!
Be vigilant about making new friends when times may be difficult, and try to ensure they are there for the right reasons!
2. You only hear from them when they want something
Actions speak louder than words, and certain patterns of behaviour can tell you everything you need to know about that person.
Of course, friends ask each other for help when needed, but if you notice that they only ever reach out to you when they need something, they are not real friends!
What is even more annoying is that they may contact you and pretend to be interested in how you have been, so it doesn’t sound so bad when they ask you for something.
Now I am not saying that your friends should be in constant or even regular communication with you, but true friends support you and want you genuinely be there for you. There are no strings attached to the time they give you!
3. They only spend time with you when no-one else is around
It’s never nice to think that you are second best. Your true friends will want to spend time with you because they love having you around and enjoy your company, and therefore they will make you a priority.
Fake friends will spend time with you when they have nothing better to do or everyone else is busy.
You are convenient for them, and they won’t think twice about dropping you off and picking you back up again.
You are just convenient for them, and they won’t think twice about dropping you off and picking you back up again when needed!
- You actively see them on social media or even bump into them hanging out with people you also know, but your invite obviously got lost in the post!
- You go long periods without speaking to them, and they suddenly pop up out of the blue wanting to do something.
- When you ask them to hang out or chill with them, they always have something on or can’t make it!
- They regularly hang around with different people and never seem to stick with the same circle of friends
3. They want a yes person
Not everyone is your friend because some people are bossy, selfish and think everything is all about them!
These types of people look for friends who will go along with whatever they want to do without little or any compromise or taking your feelings into consideration.
They look for friends who they feel is ‘weaker’ than them so they can dominate the dynamics of the relationship.
Some people struggle to say no, and therefore they end up pleasing people by going along with whatever the other person wants to do. They usually neglect their own wants and needs along the way.
- Outings are always what they want to do
- When you express an idea or desire to do something, it is dismissed
- You find yourself having to agree with them (even when you don’t) or they become hostile or standoffish
5. They are only around during good times
Not everyone is your friend because they are there during the good times but nowhere to be seen during difficult times!
We all go through adversity, and our friends can help us through the most difficult times. Whether that be a shoulder to cry on, doing a few favours to help you, or giving advice. This can be invaluable when you need extra support.
Friendship is about being present and supportive through the good and bad times. So if you have a ‘friend’ who doesn’t appear interested when times are tough, i.e. they don’t check in, they don’t listen or even ignore you, then they are a foe!
During the most difficult times, it will reveal people’s true character! Try not to take it personally; it is nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
6. You feel bad after spending time with them
Not everyone is your friend because end up feeling bad after spending time with them.
Perhaps they are sometimes unkind to you, putting you down or making you feel less than.
True friends uplift you, make you feel good, and never make you feel less! If your ‘friends’ make you feel small and insecure or give you ill-treatment, then they are not friends.
Perhaps your ‘friend’ also thinks everything is about them and does not care to notice how things are going in your life because they are so caught up in their own.
7. They do not want to see you win
Sadly, the green-eyed monster can crop its ugly head in our friendships, and our friends simply don’t want to see us do well.
This is most likely due to their own insecurities and fears that they might be left behind if you become successful.
True friends will be your biggest cheerleaders and should be genuinely happy for you when you progress, just as you should be for them.
Be careful; some of our friends are haters in disguise!
8. They only want emotional support from you
Ever had a friend that you only hear from when they are having a rough time? They can sit on the phone for hours telling you about their problems and expecting you to be there for them at a drop of a hat, to provide emotional support and help you resolve your issue.
When their difficult times have passed, you rarely hear from these friends, and that’s if you hear from them!
Friends help each other through difficult times, but when they do this, they are usually around for fun and adventurous times too!
9. The communication is one sided
Not everyone is your friend because you find yourself calling and texting and arranging all the plans to meet, and if you didn’t, you would probably never hear from them or see them again.
Just like relationships, it takes two people to build a healthy friendship and this cannot be maintained if the other party does not make the effort! Not to mention how exhausting it is to be the one making all the effort and getting nothing back!
You deserve friends that will make the effort with you, a friendship where it feels balanced and you both feel a connection.
10. You have different values and morals
It is not just romantic relationships where you have to be compatible to make it work, it is also the case for long-lasting friendships.
In the beginning, when you make a friend you can feel connected to them, but as time passes, you can start to feel that you are not quite as similar or have as much in common as you thought.
Maybe you have different values and morals and yours don’t align with one another. This is okay, and you won’t with everyone you meet. Perhaps you would be better off being acquaintances than close friends.
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