Dating A Broke Man: We Hear From Women That Have & Do!

Money, money, money…. Despite how you feel about it, we can all agree we need it to survive, and as if dating wasn’t hard enough, throwing finances into the mix can make things even more complex, especially if you are dating a broke man.  

Let’s be honest: most women want and prefer financial stability in their partners, and hey, no one can be mad at us for that; after all, we are still living in a society where the gender pay gap still exists!

Financial security will make your life a little easier, making you less likely to have money worries and financial burdens.

Saying that, when it comes to matters of the heart things can get tricky.  For instance; If I asked you to choose a man who was at least an 8/10 – funny, respectful, honest, faithful and financially stable – I am sure you wouldn’t hesitate to snap him up! Sounds like a good catch!

What if I told you to choose the same man minus the financial stability?

Would you overlook his lack of finances because of all his other amazing qualities, or would that be a deal breaker for you?  How do you see him now he’s broke? Does he suddenly become less attractive? Does he give you the ick? “Actually, you know what, he isn’t even that funny when I think about it!”

Dating a broke man will depend entirely on the woman, her circumstances and her experiences, so it isn’t always straightforward. Although it is not ideal, we may fall for someone whose financial situation is less than desirable.

Whilst there are some women who categorically wouldn’t date a man who is broke (and they will have their reasons for doing so). Others wouldn’t rule it out if the man ticked most of the other qualities they were looking for.

‘Broke’ is subjective

Being broke doesn’t mean you have to be penniless and in the gutter; it can mean different things to different people.

It may mean having only a few thousand in the bank to someone used to having hundreds of thousands.

It can mean living paycheck to paycheck, not having much left over for treats and things we enjoy after we have paid the household bills. And, of course, it can mean not being able to afford the necessities we need to survive.

Some would even argue that being broke is a mindset, and if you are not motivated to do better, you won’t get any better!

Our circumstances can shape our brokeness – take a couple that has just been through a divorce and has lost assets because of it, or a uni student struggling to live off their student loans.  

Being broke also isn’t a fixed state, and for a lot of us, its temporary, there will be times when struggle and times where we are okay.

1. “Dating a broke man shouldn’t be an issue if he can prioritise and manage what he does have”

Amy 36 – who works in Tech says….

 “I own twice as much as my partner. I am fortunate enough to have a well-paid job and a job that I enjoy at that.

When I met my partner 4 years ago, I instantly knew that I earned more than him when he told me his what he did for work. Honestly, it made me think twice about going on a first date with him.

After dating him a couple of times, I fell head over heels, and I figured I would have to be a complete fool to reject him and deprive myself of a loving relationship just because he doesn’t have much money.

I think as long as your partner is good with his finances, i.e. prioritising necessities, then it can definitely work.

2. “Dating a broke man can cause insecurity and jealousy”

Tia, 26 – a Hair Stylist and Content Creator says….

 “I dated a man who was not stable financially and honestly, it put a lot of pressure on our relationship, to the point that I no feel I could date a broke man.

He was very insecure about the fact that I earned more than him and he couldn’t afford the lifestyle he stated he would like to give me.

He felt it emasculated him, and he was not ‘fulfilling his role as a man’. he would sometimes be hostile if I offered to pay for treats such as weekends away and date nights.

 There were also occasions when he became jealous if I had received a big bonus at work.

From now on, I will be dating men who are on my level or have more, I don’t need your broke man insecurities!”

3.”Dating a broke man means you wont rely on men for financial security”

Cheryl, 34 – A Musician says…

“My friends always say they want a rich man who can look after them financially, and I have never understood it!

We all want financial security and wealth, but can you not go out and get that for yourself? Do you really (in this day and age) have to rely on a man to give us financial stability and a luxury lifestyle?  And when things don’t work out, it’s just GONE! Quicker than it came!

I’d rather build my own to be honest. I am dating a broke man, and I don’t have much money either, so we are just two ‘brokies’ together, trying to better ourselves and get where we want to be, but more importantly, we are happy; not everything has to be about money!

I’ve never expect him to pay for dates, and we always go halves on anything we do when we can afford to do it! 

Stop relying on men to give us what we want and need and go and get it for yourself!”

4. “Dating a broke man means you will have to be boundaried”

Carly, 24 – A Marketing Assistant

I date a typical ‘struggling actress’. He absolutely LOVES what he did, but his finances are inconsistent.

He finds it difficult to hold down ‘normal’ jobs because he might need time to attend an audition at the last minute, and that doesn’t also work well when you have shifts or set hours, so he tends to have to go for lower-paid jobs with zero-hour contracts.

I am quite a social and adventurous person and I love to be out and about doing things, and sometimes that means he can’t always afford to do the things I want to do.

Occasionally, I will pay for him, but sometimes, he has to miss out, and he does not mind.

When I pay, it’s because I want to, not because I feel I have to, and I think the importance for any woman who is dating a man who doesn’t have much money is to realise that you have to set financial boundaries for yourself and your partner.

Don’t feel obligated to always pay, and certainly don’t feel guilty about doing things without them that they cannot afford it.

5. “Dating a broke man means you will reap the rewards in the future”

Emma, 21 – a fashion student says….

“I am single at the minute, but I would definitely date a broke man! Without hesitation, have done it before and would do it again….BUT and there is a BUT…. He would have to be actively doing something constructive and promising with his life like I wouldn’t want any BUM that has no ambition and just wants to sit on his arse all day! That’s dead!

Being broke now doesn’t mean he will always be broke; he could be building his future, and men appreciate women being with them during their struggles, supporting and encouraging their dreams.

When they finally get where they want to be, the woman could reap the rewards of standing by their man!

If he is broke but has talent and/or is hardworking, give him a chance! We are all trying to do the best we can do!

6. “Dating a broke man will cause too much conflict”

When I dated a broke man, there was too much conflict. We often argued about money, and it made us both miserable.

As much as I would like to say that finances should come between love, it does happen and sometimes love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship! I think it is because money can be one of the biggest stressors in our lives and we all want financial security.

7. “Dating a broke man means he will make up for it in other ways”

Camilla 40, a Social Worker says…

“My partner is broke but he certainly makes up for it in other ways. He does the majority of the cooking, and running the household so I don’t have to.

He also is very attentive and romantic, and instead of buying me expensive gifts for birthdays and Christmas, his gifts are cheaper but very sentimental, which is priceless and more special than any designer bag that cost grands!

Him not having much money doesn’t mean we don’t do anything together, he just gets a lot more creative and thoughtful about our date nights so its cost effective!”

The F word in relationships

The F word (finances) can be tricky to discuss, but it’s important to do so because matters relating to finances can put pressure and strain on the relationship, which can also lead to conflict.

Being financially compatible with your partner could prevent some of these stressors, and having a partner who is broke can certainly add to it!

Having said that, money isn’t everything, and love can certainly win over finances.

It’s ultimately your decision if you choose to date a broke man. Just ensure that you have a mutual understanding of the financial dynamics, put boundaries in place, and be open with communicating about money.

Would you date a broke man? let us know in the comments below!