My Life Is Falling Apart! How Can I Fix It?

Do you currently feel like your life is falling apart, and there is little you can do to control it?

Life is a gift, that should be cherished. Whilst it can be full of beauty, joy, fun and happiness, it can’t always be sunshine and flowers. We will experience dark times. We will suffer loss and we will get hurt.

Life can be cruel, leaving us wondering why we can’t catch a break, that the universe does not love us, and that somehow our blessings have been forgotten.

Deep down, you know you do not deserve this, and you are finding it difficult to mend the broken pieces representing your life. you cannot seem to put them back together again, despite your best efforts.

To make matters worse, when we feel like this, it’s usually multiple things that happen all at once or within a short space of time that throw our lives into disarray! Perhaps you have lost a job, experiencing financial hardship or are grieving.

When you feel like your life is falling apart, take comfort in the fact that it will not last. No matter what you are going through, there is always light at the end of the tunnel and things WILL get better.

Tough times cannot last forever, because we are living in a universe where change is inevitable, and sometimes things have to fall apart so they can come back together, this time only stronger, fiercer and wiser!

Remember, we learn our greatest lessons through experiencing the most difficult times. If your life is falling apart, take the opportunity to grow and learn from it.

1. Give up the need to control

We can do many things, but one thing you cannot do is control everything, and neither should you try to!

Trying to control everything is linked to anxiety and fear, and we carry a heavy burden that things have to go according to plan at all times.

When going through a rough patch, your go-to response is to control your circumstances. But when we try to control everything, it usually means that we are attached to a certain outcome, and when we don’t get that outcome, we feel even worse!  

You may think that if we give up trying to control our situation or circumstances, we are accepting our shitty situation, and things will never get better. However, this could not be further from the truth!

Very Well Mind explains how giving up control can help you enjoy your life as you will experience, increased peace and satisfaction, better connections with yourself and others and better preparedness for the unexpected.  

You should save your time and energy to focusing on things you can control rather on the things that you cannot!

2. Understand that everything happens for a reason

When facing adversity, the last thing you want to hear is that everything happens for a reason, but try to understand where I am coming from!

If you get into the mindset that everything in life is filled with meaning, you will begin to look at things differently and from a more positive and spiritual perspective.

Instead of ruminating and/or being angry about what is happening to us, you begin to make sense of everything and believe that everything has a purpose, so you no longer see yourself as a victim.

Perhaps you lost your job because it was no longer serving you and you, and deep down, you weren’t happy there anyway.

Or maybe a relationship ended, but this creates an opportunity for someone more suited to us to come into life.

Sometimes things need to fall apart for something better to fall into place. Consider your difficulties as a chance to start again, a new beginning, whereby you are being directed to another path where you achieve your life purpose.

We learn the greatest lessons in life through our most challenging times, so if you take nothing else away from this situation, reflect on what your life falling apart has taught you.

3. Seek support

If you feel like your life is falling apart, you don’t have to try and fix things alone. It often takes a village to help you through the hardest times of your life.

Don’t suffer in silence, there are people that can help you get your life back on track, whether that be friends, family or professional help such as a therapist or a career coach.

With support, you are more likely to get through what you are going through quicker.

4. Take one day at a time

If your life is falling apart, you might desperately try to fix everything. However, this can be counterproductive as you will likely become overwhelmed and burn yourself out, making matters even more difficult.

It makes more sense to slow down and take each day as it comes. This way, you are dealing with one thing at a time, and things become much more manageable. It is like achieving a big goal; you must meet the small ones to achieve the big goal.

If you take one day at a time, you won’t be as stressed and with less stress, you are in a better mindset to change your circumstances.

5. Take time for self-care

When things are difficult, it is important that you look after yourself by participating in self-care.

Self-care is an act(s) that focuses on looking after your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.

Self-care can lower our stress levels, prevent stress-related illness and give us more energy. It is important that we take time to meet our needs, as we cannot pour from an empty cup.

Whilst we should participate in self-care when we are well to maintain our health and well-being, it is even more so important when we are going through difficult times.

This is because when we are well, we are more likely to make better decisions about our future, can heal and move forward, and are less likely to participate in unhealthy behaviour.  

Below are some self-care acts that you can participate in:

• Spending time with people who make you feel good
• Participating in your favourite activity
• Reading a book
• Journaling
• Going for long walks

Self Care Federation explains how self-care empowers people to take their health and well-being into their own hands.  

6. Avoid unhealthy behaviours

When things are rough, we can turn to unhealthy behaviours to help us cope with the chaos in our lives.  

This may be drinking more than usual, withdrawing from friends and family, putting ourselves in unsafe situations, forgetting our routines, and binge eating.

These behaviours may make us feel better in the short term, but in the long term, they can be very destructive and eventually, they will negatively impact our mental and physical health.

7. Letting go of what no longer serves us

By letting go of what no longer serves us, we are letting go of the attachments we formed to the things that are causing our life to fall apart.

It may be hard to let go of the things that are causing you difficulty, this is because it’s likely not been your choice, for example, you lost a job or your partner broke up with you.

Clinging on to these things will only cause us more suffering and hinder our healing process and ability to move on.

When we let go of the things causing our life to fall apart, we get into a place of acceptance, and when we accept our circumstances, we set ourselves free from emotional baggage and can begin to move forward.

8. Count your blessings

“Counting your blessings is one of the most powerful practices you can ever do, and it will magically turn your whole world around”

– Ronda Byrne

Counting your blessings is about deeply appreciating what you have in life.

No matter what you are going through, there are always things to be grateful for. It may be difficult to focus on gratitude when your life is falling apart, but gratitude can improve your life.

It shifts your mindset to a more positive one, and research has shown that it benefits physical and mental health.

Possibility Change explains how having gratitude will help you build resilience, enhance your coping skills, and shift your focus which can help you through hard times

You can count your blessing by:

• Taking long mindful walks and appreciating our surrounds
• Making a list of all of what we are grateful for
• Appreciating our friends and family