Accepting you will never find love may seem unimaginable to some people, after all we are told to avoid negativity and always remain positive, but I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but some of us will never find romantic love!
I would love to tell you that there is someone out there for everyone, and you would certainly meet the person of your dreams, but romantic love is not guaranteed, and meeting your soul mate is not inevitable, despite what you read or hear.
Some people go through their life having never experienced romantic love, having never been in a committed or serious relationship, whilst some people may have chosen this path; for others, this may have been a dream they always hoped would come true.
As each year passes, you keep experiencing bad date after bad date or more wasted time with emotionally unavailable men and you are no longer closer to meeting your match.
Perhaps you don’t even get to the dating stage and find it hard to meet people.
Whilst I agree, it is extremely unfair for those who have always hoped and wished that true love would find them, after all, it is human nature for us to want love and companionship, we have to learn to not only live with it but be okay with it.
I want you to understand that you can go on to live beautifully fulfilled lives with or without a partner because it isn’t the be-all and end-all!
You have two choices: you learn to accept it and live with it, or make yourself depressed and miserable obsessing about the future and holding on to hope!
Accepting you may never find love might just be the best thing you ever did!
When is it okay to accept you will never find love?
It is making you miserable:
Dating and meeting potential partners used to be fun. It used to fill you with excitement, but now it just fills you with dread.
The process of finding someone has become tedious, and it is starting to make you miserable. You get down about not having a partner, and impacts your self-esteem and self-worth.
You may even be jealous of friends who are in love or get anxious about being left behind. You don’t feel complete or fulfilled with your life because you do not have a significant other to share your life with.
You may even experience lots of feelings of shame around your single status.
You believe that something is wrong with you
You look around you and see that everyone is in a relationship: your friends, colleagues and even strangers you pass on your commute from work. And, of course, you always know that one man or woman has no trouble meeting people and getting into relationships.
These failed attempts at finding love lead you to start questioning yourself and if you are indeed the problem.
You question your looks, personality, charisma, height and weight and start to wonder if you are good enough; after all, other people around you don’t seem to have any issues finding love.
Questioning yourself is a natural part of the process when you are finding it difficult to find love.
It is not always bad; it can encourage you to work on things you could do better or traits you could work on, such as jealousy or insecurity. However, it becomes an issue when we start to believe our negative thoughts about ourselves. This is because they let this impact your self-esteem and confidence, as this causes damage to your mental health and well-being.
You start to become desperate
If you are starting to become desperate, it is probably time to accept that you will never find love.
If you are desperate, you will likely start giving off desperate vibes. Let’s face it: this isn’t going to help with finding a partner; no one likes a desperado! People can spend desperation a mile off, which can be extremely off-putting.
Desperation usually means there is underlying insecurity about being single, so you should begin working on why you feel insecure about being single.
Desperation can be harmful because you are in this mindset, you could wind up settling for someone who is not good for you so that you can fill a void of not having a partner.
You avoid being present
When we really want something, we can spend a lot of time in our own heads, imagining how life would look with our desire, in this case, a partner. The problem with this is that we end up spending a lot of time living in the future.
When we spend most of our time in the future, we reject our present because we believe it isn’t good enough, but when we do this, we forget to live mindfully.
By staying present and accepting our circumstances, we put an end to our suffering because we learn to be okay with our circumstances.
What would you do if you were told yo would never find love?
I am sure most of us would agree that the ‘not knowing’ if we will find love causes us the most distress.
If you had magical powers and knew for certain that you would not find love in this lifetime, what would you do?
How would you live your life?
Would you put more time and energy into the things you love?
Would you travel the world?
Would you focus on your career and aspire to be a girl boss?
Would you get that mortgage?
I honestly believe you would be put out of your misery, it would be a weight off your shoulders, and all that pressure you had been carrying around to find a partner would eventually disappear.
You would be free.
The chances are, after picking yourself up from the grief and despair you may have been feeling, you would invest your energy and time into other things that bring you joy and happiness.
Obviously, we don’t have magical powers to predict the future, but we don’t need them. We can accept that we never find love and live our lives anyway because what other option do you have?
You can choose to be depressed and angry or try to make peace, be content with your current reality, and continue living your life.
Holding on to hope could be harming you
On your journey to finding a perfect match, I am sure you have received plenty of advice about remaining hopeful that you will soon meet the one.
You go on one bad date but remain hopeful that the next one will be good, or you finally get into a relationship and hope that it will last.
While being hopeful can get us through difficult times and is completely necessary at times, hope isn’t always a good thing.
This is because hope can interfere with your ability to accept your present circumstances, waiting for a future moment to give you your desires.
By holding on to hope you deny yourself of being okay with the present moment. If we are not careful, relying too much on hope can prevent us from surrendering to the universe.
Psychology Today explains how hope could turn to hopelessness as once hope weakens, it can be harder to meet your goals as it impacts your ability to take action.
Turn your fear into bravery
When we are struggling to find love, we can become anxious and fearful that it may not happen for us and this can impact on our wellbeing. However our fears will not solve anything and only cause you more stress and worry.
Accepting you will never find love is an act of bravery because it can be incredibly painful to let go of something you really want and move on,
When we are brave enough to let go of our desires but all the fears and anxieties you built up about having never found the one can be turned into courage.
The grass isn’t greener on the other side
Accepting you will never find love means that you will likely see through the fairytale fantasy we have conjured in our heads because if you were to get into a relationship, you would be in for a rude awakening because relationships are hard work!
I bet you don’t have a friend or family member who doesn’t complain about their partner or the difficulties they experience in their relationship.
Relationships are not how they are portrayed on social media (they only want you to see the best bits). Of course, they would never share the relationship’s difficulties or boring side.
Be grateful that you are a free spirit who can come and go as you please, and do have to answer to anyone!
Being grateful for being single when you do not want to be may be a challenge, but gratitude can transform yourself and increase your happiness tenfold, and it just takes practice!
Whether you hate being single or not, I bet someone somewhere wishes they were in your position!
Trust that the universe has a plan for you
Accepting that you will never find love means trusting that the universe has a plan for you, maybe love just wont happen for you this lifetime, but does that mean your life can’t be joyful, full, exciting and worthwhile.
Sometimes you just have to trust that the universe has your back and although you may not find love, other amazing things will happen for you.
Love is love no matter where it comes from
Love is love regardless of your relationship status, you do not need a partner to feel loved and love isn’t less valuable if it doesn’t come from a relationship.
Accepting that you will never find love would means focusing on other areas in your life where you are loved.
You can receive love from friends, family, colleagues and even strangers and this love can be just as special and meaningful as the love you experience in a relationship.
With this in mind it would be helpful to focus on self-love, especially if your your self esteem and self worth has taken a hit because you cannot find a match and if you truly love yourself then you you will more likely.
A word from Daisy In The Dust
Accepting you will never find love will of course come with its hardships and emotional turmoil, and you will likely experience loneliness and have negative thoughts about your single status.
In these times you remind yourself that you are so much more than a romantic relationship.
If you don’t remember anything from this post, remember that there is no better relationship than the one you have with yourself!
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