There is no denying that we can meet some truly great people at work, and oftentimes, the people we work with can make all the difference in how we feel about our jobs. Some coworkers may always hold a special place in our hearts even if we don’t keep in touch long after we leave the company; some will be lifelong friends, and others may even be lovers, which leaves us to ask, is it a good idea to be dating a coworker?
According to Forbes, 60% of adults have had a workplace romance, and whilst some will say you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure, doing so certainly has the potential to be a recipe for disaster.
Work can be a good place to meet someone special, however it may not turn out the way you intended.
If you have a connection with someone you work with and are considering dating a coworker, you may want to sit and think about why it may not be such a good idea!
1. You will be the subject of workplace gossip
Let’s be honest: people love workplace gossip, especially when it involves romance! It makes the day go quicker and brings some excitement to our mundane jobs!
Half of the time, the information that people may be gossiping about probably isn’t true or has been taken way out of context, like classic Chinese whispers.
If you are dating a co-worker, I can almost guarantee that you and your co-worker will be the hot topic for a while when people find out – or if people suspect something is happening!
Regardless of whether we are guilty of participating in office gossip or not, there is no denying it probably isn’t fun to be on the receiving end of it.
Although the thought of other people chatting your business isn’t a pleasant thought, most workplace gossip isn’t malicious, but if you do feel uncomfortable, feel targeted or bullied, ensure you tell someone.
If you don’t want to make things formal, you can always tell people to mind their own business (in a polite way of course).
Worry not, though; people will soon get bored, and you will be yesterday’s news soon enough, no doubt!
2. It could impact on your productivity
Dating a co-worker may impact your performance. This is because the new romance may be a distraction to you. You may spend time secretly flirting, or emailing one another when you are supposed to be doing work.
You may even spend a lot of time talking to one another, and before you know it is time to go home, and you have barely got anything done.
If your productivity is impacted, it could mean that you risk missing targets and deadlines, missing out on bonuses, or even having to go through performance monitoring.
If your performance is being impacted, then it is definitely time for you to implement some boundaries so you can keep on top of your work.
3. It will be awkward if things don’t work out
There is no telling what will happen in the future, and I guess that is what puts the excitement in dating. It could end in marriage and babies or end up being a blocked contact in your smartphone.
The downside of dating a coworker is that there is nowhere to hide if things do not work out as you work at the same place and maybe even in the same team. This shouldn’t be much of a problem if things end on good terms, but if they don’t, then things could be awkward or hostile.
To manage this as best you can, you should think about the dynamics of your work situation. Things to consider and that may really make a difference are:
- How big is the company you work for?
Some companies are huge, and you may not be based on the same floor or building. In this case, they are avoidable if you don’t want to see them.
- Do you work in different teams?
If you work in different teams and things end badly then you may not need to interact with all the time, this will likely make things a lot easier ad a lot less awkward.
- Would you be open to leaving if needed?
If a break up is particularly difficult for you and you feel that you could no longer be around them would you be open to getting a new job?
4. You may be breaking the rules
Often, people don’t think about checking workplace policies when it comes to dating coworkers, especially those who are not in management positions and may think that they do not need to!
While your relationship with your co-worker may not be prohibited, there are certain policies and procedures that may need to be followed when you are dating. The policies put in place are likely designed to protect you and the company you work for.
For example, you may need to declare your relationship with a manager or human resources.
If you are unsure what your policies are in place for dating coworkers, then you should speak with your manager, HR or a trusted colleague.
5. You could end up talking about work ALOT!
I currently work with one of my good friends, but admittedly, when we get together in our personal time, despite our promises to avoid the topic of work, we always end up talking about it!
It can sometimes be difficult to separate work and our personal life, especially when our job is challenging or stressful, and dating someone from work may make it even more difficult to keep work at work, leading to burnout and further stress.
If you are dating a co-worker, it is important that you both set boundaries for your work and personal life.
Remember, you and whoever you are dating are not your jobs, and your relationship doesn’t revolve around your work.
6. Your relationship may cause some drama
Gossip is one thing, but drama can really make being at work unpleasant and stressful.
Whilst it is your choice to date who you want, it may cause some drama in the office.
Perhaps the coworker you are dating is not that popular in the workplace, and people are treating you differently because of it, or perhaps you have both dated other people in the same workplace, causing jealousy and envy.
Whatever the reason, your new relationship should be a time of fun and excitement, and not full of drama.
7. People may pick up on your relationship difficulties
We all go through things in our personal lives, and we may choose not to share these personal matters with those we work with.
For the most part, our personal matters do not interfere with our work, and no one would be able to tell that we were facing adversity in our personal lives. However, things may be more obvious if these difficulties involve the coworker we are dating!
Perhaps you and the person you are dating have been arguing a lot recently, and as much as you try to hide it, co-workers pick up on it.
This could lead to you feeling uncomfortable and make being at work an unpleasant experience.
8. You could leave yourself vulnerable to complaints
You certainly need to be mindful when you are dating a co-worker because it could mean that you are more vulnerable to complaints. This could especially be the case if you are a manager dating someone you are managing because of the power imbalance between you both.
This is why it is especially important to follow policies and procedures to protect yourself. Coworkers may also complain about the following:
- Favoritism
- Inappropriate behavior
- Professionalism
9. It could negatively impact your relationship
We have established how dating a coworker can impact your work environment and productivity, but it can also negatively impact your relationship.
Dating a co-worker means that you could end up spending a lot of time with one another, and this isn’t always a good thing. Too much of anything can become overbearing, leading to arguments and conflict.
Talking of conflict, there is also the risk of conflict spilling into work and creating an uncomfortable environment for others.
It’s ultimately your choice and decision if you decide to date a coworker and some work romances can turn into long lasting, loving relationships , but ensure you weigh up the pros and cons before you get into anything serious and be sure to put some boundaries in place to protect yourself and your relationship.
