Yes, I Hate Being Single & No, I’m Not Desperate!

Modern dating culture has created this strange paradox: being single is glorified, but wanting partnership is judged. We’re told independence is empowering, but only the kind where you’re unbothered, thriving, and definitely not longing for anyone.

Somehow, it’s now more “acceptable” to say you want to avoid relationships entirely than to say you actually like being in one. And honestly? I’m tired of pretending that wanting connection is something women should whisper instead of saying proudly.

It feels like if you hate being single, you’re instantly labelled weak, desperate, or someone who needs to “work on themselves.” But what if we’re just… human?

I’ve been single for around two years now, and I’ll happily admit it: I hate it. I’ve always preferred being in a relationship. I like having someone to cuddle up to at night, the emotional security, the shared laughter and yes, even the shared tears. I love loving on my man and receiving that love back. And more importantly, I love having someone to navigate life’s highs and lows with.

Many people are taken aback when I admit this; others are impressed I say it out loud. It’s almost as if there’s an unspoken rule that women must enjoy being single, and when we don’t, the judgment comes quickly. Because of this pressure, many women end up lying, to others, and even to themselves. But if you hate being single too, that’s okay. You don’t have to judge yourself for it, and you certainly don’t have to pretend otherwise.

To be clear, I’m not anti-single. I love that more women are embracing independence, and I’m well aware that single women are statistically thriving. But it’s still perfectly valid to say, “I don’t love being single,” without being labelled desperate, insecure, or a woman who “can’t make it without a man.”

Challenging the judgements:

Somewhere along the way, social media turned being single into an aesthetic, complete with “self-love” slogans, solo adventures, and hyper-independence. While that’s empowering for many, it’s also created an odd backlash against those who dare to admit they don’t enjoy it.

The truth is, wanting a relationship doesn’t mean you’re broken. Preferring connection doesn’t mean you’re incapable of standing on your own two feet. Craving companionship is human nature, not a flaw that needs to be fixed.

Despite the fact that I hate being single, it has never pushed me into a relationship just for the sake of having one. I won’t settle for less than I deserve just to fill a “void.” My life is still full. I see friends and family, work on my goals, and enjoy my own company. I’m perfectly capable of living without a partner; I just prefer life with one.

The common assumptions people make about those of us who dislike being single include:

• Weak
  
• Desperate
  
• Willing to settle for anyone
  
• Low self-esteem or self-worth
  
• Not loving ourselves
  
• “Needing” to focus on healing or self-growth
  

Whilst some of these points may apply to a few, I don’t believe they speak for the majority of women. Most of us aren’t lacking anything; we just prefer partnership, connection, and the comfort that comes with it.

Why I prefer relationships:

Relationships aren’t perfect; they take work. But for me, the benefits far outweigh the perks of being single.

I feel more secure in a steady relationship. I worry less about finances, and I find I manage life’s challenges better with someone by my side.

As someone who values personal and spiritual growth, I’ve realised relationships help me evolve in ways I might not on my own. They act as mirrors, reflecting both my strengths and blind spots, and showing me where I need to grow.

And let’s be honest: life is easier as a couple. Our society is built for partnerships. Buying a house alone on one wage is incredibly difficult. Even paying bills and putting food on the table in this economy is challenging. When I’m in a relationship, I have more financial breathing room, more for experiences, holidays with friends, treats, and savings.

Loneliness isn’t weakness

Wanting love doesn’t make you desperate. Preferring connection doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

You can be independent, self-assured, and happy with who you are, and still want someone to share your life with. You don’t have to choose between being strong and wanting companionship; both can exist at the same time.

Final thoughts

In the end, it’s okay to admit that you hate being single. It doesn’t make you desperate, weak, or unworthy. Society might encourage us to wear singledom like a badge of honour, but human connection and companionship are natural desires.

Whether you’re single by choice or circumstance, what matters most is being true to yourself and honouring your feelings without judgment. Relationships aren’t perfect, but for many of us, they bring growth, comfort, and joy that make life richer.

So if you don’t love being single, that’s perfectly okay, and you’re definitely not alone. Don’t let anyone make you feel “less than” because of it.